


Best Served Cold

by WrC



Series: HiJack Drabbles [14]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Christmas, Hijack, M/M, Norwegian Hiccup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9012217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrC/pseuds/WrC
Summary: Hiccup is being particularly secretive about their Christmas dinner this year...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place one year after "Lust", which I wrote for the HiJack Week December 2016. That's NSFW though, and it is therefore not required to know that story to understand this one, but it might make it a bit funnier :P

It wasn ’t unusual for Jack to be sent from the kitchen while being threatened with a wooden spoon. Hikke was almost exclusively the one doing the cooking, unless pizza, waffles, or desserts so sweet you get instant cavities were involved - meringue ice-cream cake was one of Jack’s specialties.

The effort Hikke took to keep his boyfriend out of the kitchen today, however, was quite extreme. Even for him. Jack was only allowed to get something to drink from the fridge, but gods forbid he lingered as much as a second too long. Sharp kitchen utensils would start waving in his direction, directed by a scowling viking. The brunet had basically banished Jack from the kitchen, limiting him to the living/dining room and bedroom in their little apartment.

OK, so the in-laws were coming over. Jack could understand Hikke ’s perfectionistic nature and desire to make a good impression on Jack’s parents added some stress to make this Christmas dinner extra special. But the brunet was going to far. He was acting like Jack would set fire to the food simply by being in the kitchen! That had only happened once and Jack still denied that was  _ his _ fault anyway.

Hikke was also being exceptionally secretive about their Christmas dinner menu. Jack wasn ’t allowed to know anything, and the kitchen door stayed closed as much as possible.

When Hikke finally emerged from the kitchen for a break, there was flour on his shirt and an unidentified substance on his brow. A wonderful smell wafted after him, and Jack hummed appreciatively.

“Finnally, buttercup emerges!” 

“Glad to see you’ve made yourself useful too, snowflake.”

Jack had taken it upon him to finish their Christmas decorations, adding more lights all around the house on top of their already extensive decorations. His favourites where the rainbow lit snowflakes from transparent plastic in front of their living room window.

“Well I’m not allowed to know what you’re making, let alone help.” There was a slight accusation in his voice. “So I had to do something else to feel valid and useful.” Hiccup laughed and gave him a little kiss as apology. “Don’t stress so much, Hikke it’s just my parents. It’s not the first time they’ve come around.”

“I will give them nothing but the best, you know that.” Hikke let himself fall on the couch. “Besides, I’m trying to go back to my Norwegian roots. You told me you supported me in that, right?”

“Of course I do! How could I not?” Jack joined him and wiped the sticky stuff from the other’s brow. He tasted it, and determined it was cookie dough! “Score!”

“I’m going for a more traditional Christmas dinner; I was even on the phone with my uncle a few times to ask for advice. I just want it to be a surprise for you too, okay?” 

Jack nodded.  “All right, I promise I won’t try to peek.”

“And promise me you won’t hide obscene objects between the decorations again?”

Jack laughed.  “Cross my heart or hope to die… if you promise not to stress so much about tonight.”

“Deal.” Hikke gave him the most innocent of pecks on his cheek. In a very sweet voice, he added: “Because if I see any, you’ll do just that: die.”

“What, you wouldn’t ruin your precious Japanese carbon-steel knife, would you?”

“I’ll have you know I can kill a man with nothing but my thumb!”

Jack scoffed.  “Who doesn’t?” 

“No-one will ever find your remains, Overland.” Hikke squinted.

The other threw his hands up in defeat and changed the topic, suggesting they watch a movie as long as Hikke was on his kitchen break. Those breaks were short though, so they settled for short movies, starting with Pixar ’s  _ Lifted _ .

The white-haired man leaned against his boyfriend, enjoying the lovely smell of Christmas foods that stuck to his clothing. He parked his head on Hikke ’s shoulder, who put an arm around him to hug him close. He knew they could only stay like this for a few minutes, but that was okay. Any cuddly time, no matter how long, was a blessing in Jack’s opinion.

“I love you, Hiccy.”

 

—————

 

The  _ moment supreme _ arrived! North, Helen, and Jack were sitting at the table, anxiously awaiting the reveal of their probably extravagant and masterfully prepared Christmas dinner. Hikke put three sizable plates on the table, covered with tinfoil to hide what was underneath. It smelled surprisingly little, except for the last one. That one smelled most like Brussels sprouts … something Jack hated with a passion. Definitely not the smells that had clung to Hikke earlier that afternoon. Lastly, the brunet brought in a pot covered with a heavy lid. He was wearing extra thick, rubber cleaning gloves as well.

Suffice it to say that led to some arched eyebrows. North was looking downright worried, and Jack gave his boyfriend a questioning look. Hikke just smiled happily, seemingly oblivious.

“I thought I’d go back to my Norwegian roots this Christmas, and this is the result!” Hikke cheerfully announced.

“Why the gloves, honey?” Helen asked.

“Oh that’s for the lye. This is Lutefisk! But I didn’t have enough time, nor did I have pure lye, so I used solid sink declogger and it’s still mostly in here. I’ll just try to get the fish out with my hands, hence the gloves!” 

The look on his parent ’s faces would have had Jack rolling on the floor, howling with laughter, if he wasn’t so concerned himself.

“Are you sure that’s safe?” He weakly mumbled, kind of overwhelmed by the choice of cuisine.

“No idea, but it’ll be fine I’m sure. Next is the main vegetable: sprouts!” Jack’s fear became reality; the smelly bowl indeed contained his most hated vegetable in existence. “Then: Rakfisk!” Hikke removed the tinfoil of one of the dishes, revealing a still sealed can and a can opener. “This is traditional, fermented fish! Usually this stuff is opened outside, because of the horrendously bad smell, but I thought ‘to hell with it, we’ll just do it indoors’. I mean, weak-minded people throwing up is part of the charm!”

North and Helen were starting to pale considerably, and Jack wasn ’t looking any better. Was Hiccup being serious here? This was going to be one hell of an ordeal to get through. But on the other hand, Jack was determined not to let it show — not much anyway. He’d said he supported Hikke in finding his Norwegian side, and if this was what he wanted, he’d bear with it.

“But the best thing is under here!” The brunet removed the foil from the second plate, laying bare the head of a sheep. Whole. In what appeared to be some form of sauce.

The brunet ’s voice was overflowing with a proud anticipation when he announced it was “Smalahove”, a Norwegian delicacy. Jack actually felt some bile rising in the back of his throat. That was downright disgusting.

Jack was torn. He really, absolutely, should say something about this and save his parents. But on the other hand, how could he object? Just look at that kind, proud smile on his boyfriend ’s face? He was so happy with his Norwegian dishes! His god awful, disgusting, and potentially life-threatening dishes. 

“Right, let’s open this up then!”

Before Jack regained his ability to speak, Hikke had grabbed the can opener and jabbed it into the can. The white-haired man yelled  “OH GOD” and closed his eyes, anticipating the most horrendous smell in existence… 

…but he only got laughter. Everyone at the table was laughing their asses off - Hikke most of all.The poor man was clutching at the table in an attempt to stay upright, he was laughing so hard.

Jack ’s parents were laughing too, and the white-haired man briefly wondered if everyone had gone insane.

“Oh. My. Gods.” Hikke managed to gasp out between fits of giggles. “YOUR FACE!”

“OH GOD please no not the fishcan!” North mimicked his son. “Anything but the fish can!”

Hikke laughed even harder when Jack ’s dumbfounded look persisted, and he actually fell to the floor. Little shrieks, giggles, and desperate gasps for air were all he produced.

“Hahahahihihohah- I got you so good!” the brunet called from his position on the floor. Jack peeked past the table and finally found his voice.

“What. The. Fuck?” 

“You really thought this was the actual dinner?”

“Well…”

Still giggling, Hikke managed to get up again.  “Oh man you really fell for it.”

“I wanted to be supportive,” Jack mumbled in a soft little voice.

“And that’s much appreciated! Actually, I got way further than I thought I would! You stopped me so late, if this had been real Rakfisk you’d all be barfing right now and our landlord would kill me.”

“Glad it was fake…”

“Oh come on, it was a great prank. Admit it.” Hikke came over and hugged Jack from behind. “I finally got back at you!”

“How… how are you guys laughing too?” Jack asked his parents. “Were you in on this?”

“You bet we were!” North cheerfully announced. “How could we not cooperate after what you did last year? Honestly, hiding putting _that_ kind of toys under tree is going too far. And you use them as decoration?! ”

“Nice acting, by the way,” Helen complimented her husband.

“Thank you, dear. You were not bad yourself!”

“Oh yeah, real good guys. I admit, you got me. And maybe I got it coming.” 

Hiccup hummed and pressed a kiss to Jack ’s head. “You bet your sorry ass you got it coming. Now, who’s ready for an actual dinner?”

“Thank god, you actually made nice things,” his boyfriend sighed.

“Oh come on, how could I disappear into the kitchen the whole day and not make cookies and an actual dinner. Get up, help me put some honest Christmas foods on the table.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> All of the dishes mentioned are *real*. They were brought to my attention by our lovely Jacket (who happens to be Norwegian) on the HiJack Discord server. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this lil' thing and Happy Holidays!


End file.
